What does a normal day in lockdown look like? Desi Edition

 Waking up with a lot of struggle at noon, hearing your parents scream at you for being an incompetent kid, scrolling through Instagram to drown out their voices and what do you see?- an old friend from school just started a youtube channel, another one just loves to socialize, then its Disha Patani in her Calvin Klein sports apparel, your college friend organizing a quiz, and then Tanmay Bhat's streaming but before my lazy ass could swipe up for the link, it switches to an ad of detox capsules that helps you lose weight. There's this gorgeous girl with amazing hair and flawless skin speaking about how these artificial 'detox capsules' is the sole reason for her weight loss, and a flashback photo of her weighing 86 kgs, two months ago pops up.

For a moment I'm tempted to talk about this to my mom and order it to see the magic happen with my own eyes. But then coming back to my senses, I think about how did this ad pop up? Oh! the world of technology that we're trapped in!

My mom and I had a screaming match last night when she was trying t force feed me one more Aloo parantha, slathered with a layer of white Makhan whose glisten could light up a pitch-black room, and I shouted at her refusing to eat that. Upon my dismissal of her which came wrapped up in a bucket load of calories, with fire in her eyes, she asked me with her voice laced with ice, "why?" I, on the other hand, holding up my wall of resilience as high as I could, closed my eyes, Chloe TIng's workout regime flashing in my mind, exhaled and with opening my eyes, muttered two words, that can break a Punjabi mother's heart, " losing weight"

I wanted to leave the dining room there and then, go back into my room and cower in a corner, because, in my house, under no circumstances do you refuse food especially for reasons as lame as weight loss. But after being home for months, not even quarantined in the house but on the couch - binge-watching and binge-eating, I'd put on a crazy amount of weight, the weight that took me 4 years of hostel life, the last of which was spent in the gym. But there was no point explaining this to my mom, my mom who feeds my diabetic dad Halwa-puri, when she's made something he's not very fond of, and without fail puts sweets in his lunch, instead of fruits. She thinks that you build muscles by gobbling down bottles of ghee and sweet lassi. So, rightfully so, she looked at my dad and said," kedi Ji aulaad paida kiti hai" which translates to what kind of a kid have we given birth to!

This cues my father to do the two things, he's best at                                                                                   1. supporting my mother                                                                                                                               2. Looking at me with disappointment filled eyes

My mom continues," All day you kids will sit on your butt, because of which it's swollen like a balloon and you blame my paranthas for it. The reason you're fat is that damned phone of yours. Throw it away NOW! See how you'll start dropping with a speed of one pound per day!" What fucked up logic is this.

I get up from my chair and retreat back onto the couch while slowly mumbling," I's final. No more greasy food or sugar for me. I'm on a diet now! I need to lose weight."

The screaming match was concluded by her obvious screaming," Weight loss! WEIGHT loss! WEIGHT LOSS! Let's see your weight loss by giving up on food. Your bones are going to crumble by sitting down on your ass all day (the funniness and the logic of this statement has been lost in translation)"

So Mr.Zuckerberg's doing might have led to my hone picking this up and thrown the 'detox capsules' ad in my face. That's so fucking crazy. you don't even need to write in a message anymore.

So, that's how my life's summed up - a hostile home environment! support what's that?

Nothing to do

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Social Media

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Mental Health blow to pieces 

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Distraction by netflix 

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Feeling hungry?

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Binge-eat

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Step up on the weighing scale 

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Mental health blown to pieces Again

A man called Ove - the book review

 

A man called Ove is a book that will make you go through a rollercoaster of emotions, it’s going to make you laugh, it’s going to make you cry, and before you realize it's going to make you fall in love with every single character.

The book takes you through the journey of a 59-year-old man called Ove who is angry, grumpy, sees the world in black & white and is dead-set in his ways- nothing could ever change his mind, even if his thoughts were as absurd as,” Ove feels an instinctive skepticism towards all people taller than six feet; the blood can’t quite make it all the way up to the brain.”

Ove is a character so relatable, each and every one of us has met or known a person like him be it your father, your grandfather, or an uncle staying in your apartment building. I believe every male who turns a day over 50 starts possessing a bit of Ove’s personality! He’s accurately described in the book as,” the most inflexible man in the world.”

Ove was a man who could fix anything – be it a creaking cabinet, a broken regulator, a bicycle, a car, or even an exhaust fan. It felt as if he spoke the language of machines, but didn’t understand the first thing about people which is quite fair because, for a person so kind, humans of the world could never be worth understanding.

The story begins when a loud and interfering family moves next doors to Ove. Ove, who loved keeping to himself, and the last thing he wanted was to socialize with this family. But the family incorporates themselves into Ove’s life as if they’d known him for years which infuriates Ove so hard that he….well, I think you should give the book a read to know what happens next.

‘A man called Ove’ is an incredibly written book but if you’re looking for a book that’s thrilling and suspenseful, you might not want to read this. This book must not be read for its plot but, for its story, its characters, and for the love with which it’s written.

This a perfect book to get back into the habit of reading. Its humor is so brilliant that it genuinely will make you laugh out loud at a few places. Fredrick Backman’s writing style is so beautiful that he breezes through a few topics so effortlessly that may otherwise be so dreadful, and leave you wondering for hours. He describes an old friendship so beautifully yet simply as,” when people don’t share it(sorrow), there’s a good chance that it will drive them apart instead.”                                                                             

He describes something as dark and heavy as coping with someone’s death with such ease, it just breaks you -
, “We always think there's enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens and then we stand there holding on to words like 'if'.”

If you’re looking for something sincere, amiable, and funny to read, something to make you feel warm on a  sad, cold, lonely night – I’d hundred percent recommend you to read ‘A man called Ove’ by Fredrick Backman.

 

So I just watched the change-up

 It's a pretty basic movie, classic cliche - two best friends envy each other, think the other guy has a better life. After an evening of drinking, they had to pee, as one usually does, and they end up peeing in a wish fountain while screaming I wish I had your life. and BAM! ended up switching their lives i.e. the change-up. 

(For sensitive people) *SPOILERS AHEAD* but as if you didn't know how the movie ends. They just end up realizing that their own life how much ever fucked up it maybe is absolutely fantastic! And they were absolutely crazy to be envious of each other's lives, but both of them had moments of realization on how they could be better at their own 'original' lives. 

This just makes me think that I just really be grateful for my experiences. For every failure or setback, I just keep thinking that it's because of my experiences. I'm so shit at everything and people are so good at the same things, I wish I could have a life like them. But I don't know a person who's making perfect round rotis right now, took how many errors and how much time to master this skill, or the celebrities who are so amazing at their craft took how many years working on it. I always thought that I'm incapable of a lot of things and everybody around me is born with their talents or like how their parents say," humne kuch nahi kiya ji, ye to god-gift hai by god! " My parents never said that about me though, like ever. (The gif is below is me looking in the mirror today XD)

So it's not Thanksgiving yet, but today I'm thankful and grateful for my life and the experiences and people who've made me-me! 

My take on Jaane tu ya Jaane na after rewatching it for the bajillionth time!

I watched this movie as a kid and I loved it. I watched this movie as a teen and I loved it. I've watched this movie as an adult and I've loved it.

But as a kid I just found it cute and, I always thought "wow, college Aisa hota hai!"
As a teen I wished ki kaash mera college Aisa ho! And I always wanted to have that one friend, just like Jai and Aditi who always wanted to spend time with each other, give each other your full attention, never look at anybody else, slowly fall in love and then a happily ever after! ( Tu bole...main bolun montage playing in my life!)

                                     

At that time, I also felt that the most unrealistic and borderline annoying character was Meghna.But as an adult Meghna is the most relatable character to me, because I know that whatever circumstances there maybe, whoever is the person standing in front of you, katna to tumhara hi hai! And this might be a personal thing but her pretending that her parents are in love is also what I relate to a lot!

I don’t remember them fighting as much when me and my brother were really young, maybe because those fights didn’t happen in front of us or we were distracted with our tazos, beyblades and WWF cards to pay attention to them. But now, they happen right in the open for me and my brother to witness. Sometimes I feel the neighbours are a part of this witnessing as well.

And the main fight is about financial crisis in the house, which really prevents me for asking for stuff that’s irrelevant. So their fights are always inconclusive but at least makes me spend less money and maybe helps them out a little. But then this should’ve stopped their fighting, no?

But I think they find reasons to fight whether it be the incessant ringing of dad’s phone, mom’s OCD, the series that we should watch, anything and they fight. And at times when they’re fighting I do find myself involuntarily smiling because I do find that cute. I have no idea how whether it’s because I find their living together for so long and still finding such small things about each other so annoying, or it’s the predictability of the other person knowing what they’re going to do and waiting for them to do it and then getting angry that they actually have done what was expected of them.

Whatever, they maybe fighting about, I've realised that after a year of any relationship,the puppy love dies and what's left is these fights. So never be upset when your parents fight, because that's how desi parents espress love!

Do you think horoscopes are a farce?

There are some people who think horoscopes are bullshit and then there’s a hoard of people who have a career based on astrology. Ranging from palm readers, face readers ( quick flashback of Sima Taparia from Mumbai's astrolger looking at any anybody's photo and saying," Ziddi, Hatti, aivam Swabhimani swabhav ka/ki hai"), kundli readers to tarot card readers and also creepy weird crystal ball ladies. And how can I forget about people like Phoebe i.e tea leaves readers.

I’m ashamed of it but, I maybe a believer in horoscopes because whether they’re true or not, they give you a precap of your life.You remember those times when desi tv serials had a thing called precap where they’d show you what you’re going to witness in tomorrow’s episode. Ah! The good old days. (Can you hear Jaane kahan Dil mil gaye.. playing in your mind right now? Sorry, not sorry ;) )

I think the horoscope is the exact same thing. I feel miserable everyday, I'm one of those people who you may address as 'pessimists'. At the current stage of my life, I've nothing to look up to.But if my horoscope says that it’s going to be a positive day for me, or it’ll be a good day for me to study, if I’m working the boss will be happy with my work, if I’m dating it’s a good day to keep my ego aside and apologise, if I’m single I’ll find the man/woman of dreams today, if I’m an artist luck will be on my side, then I just step out of my house with a little hope in my heart and the thought of what if!

Also, there are days when your horoscope reads that you're going to have an absolutely horrible day. This will force you to expect out-rightly miserable situations - mind of the pessimists! This sort of cushions the blow of ,now, little bumps on the road of your day. And if something good happens to you that day, that just feels like no potholes on the road (no, XD), I meant cherry on the cake.

Although, IMO horoscopes are a farce, but not treating them like one helps.

A list of things that may brighten your day!

The lockdown, the endless staying at home and reading the horrific news everyday. Hearing about the people I know, getting infected has made this all the more worse. Also, everyday I wake with news of suicide and think about it, we just hear about the suicides that happen in the public eye. Imagine the number of people who aren’t big business tycoons, huge Bollywood stars, tv actors and TikTokers who might be committing suicide.
I request everybody to please take care of their mental Health. I know everybody knows about this but just putting it out there please get help if you need, talk to your friends talk to anybody you like. I especially love theindianidiot’s daily journal thingy. Please go and write something there if you want to be anonymous and you don’t want anybody else to find out. Maybe it gets a little weight off your chest.
Try setting a routine if you can. The joy of doing everything at the same time will help your mental Heath go a long way. But that needs a lot of determination and will power but try giving it a shot. I’m still struggling but I’m sure I’ll get there pretty soon.
But if you still need things to cheer you up watch something that takes your mind off things. Here’s a list and I’m sure it’ll help your anxiety, and your low mood at least for a few hours and maybe in the long run help you see the brighter side of things
1. Tanmay Bhat’s YT channel : There is nothing more uplifting (maybe not exactly the right word but you’ll feel it I assure you), more funny, more positive than his videos on the internet. Believe me they’ll make you cry laugh. Also if anybody’s still hating him from the AIB days please just be done. He’s the most endearing as one can get (completely my opinion). Also people who get offended by gaalis please grow up! Among all the hate you find on all social media platforms , he’s one ray of sunshine. And I mean it he with other comedians/you tubers/housemates/ shankar(my favourite) makes fun of things but in the most non offensive way , almost innocently. Also although Shankar is hands down my favourite, a very close second is Naveed. Being ambitious about your career and all is okay but all I want in life is a friend like Naveed. Or rather a boyfriend like Naveed! Where do you get one? There’s not one bad bone in his body! Please watch him, listen to his story it’ll give you the motivation to work or study or even exercise

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2. Atypical : this is the most innocent high school/college shows on ott platforms. You can watch this on Netflix (or like most of us telegram it or torrent it). It’s about an autistic kid and his family and his friends but has so much more to it that this minor illness that he has. Each characters story line explored so well along the three seasons. Also a minor tear jerker but it’s going to motivate you to get up and work and let your spirits soar high.

3. Schitt’s creek : this is so heartwarming. There’s not person in this tv series that you’ll not fall in love with. The perfect amount of funny, growth and positivity. One of the best represented LGBTQ love stories. People have gone wrong with those at a lot of places but dan levy has just hit it out of the park.

4. Jaane tu ya jaane na: this movie can lift up your spirits on any day no matter how dark the clouds maybe in your life, this movie can make it sunny again or rain if you like monsoon (I like the chai and pakore that come with it but everything else is bleh) also the music is so freaking amazing. From kahin to making you cry to nazrein milaana making you cry because you have nobody to sing it to.

5. The fundamentals of caring : a really light fun movie giving a little bit of insight on a disorder called duchenne muscular dystrophy. Although I had a little bit of a problem with a birthing scene which was much more unrealistic than 3 idiots. Hum faltu hi Bollywood ko gaaliyan dete hai Hollywood wale kuch kam nahi hai. All of this aside very cutesy simple and a fun movie.

6. Always be my maybe : an extremely sweet movie about kinda childhood sweethearts but not really, a little bit cliche. But who doesn’t like cliche on a bad day! Ali Wong's humor is spectacular.Also it has keaunu reeves in it!!!!*swoon*

That's all folks for this list. Hope this list helps you cope with these difficult times a little! Have an amazing and distracted day! Please stay safe and stay home,